excerpted from the print magazine…
I live in the hamlet of Phoenicia, in the Catskill Mountains of New York State. Here I write for my local newspaper, the Phoenicia Times. My column, “Heard by a Bird,” is composed of local gossip – but I invent it all. (This way, no one is offended.) Here is an example:
negative yard sale
“One year, I was so desperate to get rid of my crap that I had a ‘negative yard sale,’” admits Amy Glendouer. “All the prices were negative numbers: ‘–3 cents,’ ‘–9 cents’ and so on. In other words, if someone took one of my Reader’s Digests, I would give her 9 cents. Actually, an old guy insisted on paying me 5 dollars for my cutting board, so I ended up making a slight profit.”
As part of my column, I create recipes for “rural food.” For example:
star salad
On a clear, moonless night make this salad:
4 leaves Romaine lettuce, torn
1 leaf escarole, chopped
2 grape tomatoes, halved
Place the bowl of salad under the stars for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and serve.
Submitted by Ellen Kermes.
