I began the process of deciphering what my body conveyed in the summer of 1987. I began
to reflect and write about what I was observing, feeling and thinking while engaged with the poses.
My journals show slow progress in learning to connect with the symbolic messages of my yoga practice.
The messages were coming, but I had difficulty accepting them or trusting them to be valid. Jung noted
that the modern mind views the analogies of symbolic association as "self-evident absurdities."
This describes the way my own logic often rebelled at finding
significance in what seemed either obvious or creative thought associations.
I recorded the feelings and thoughts that emerged while in the pose and can now recognize
how these phrases encapsulated and mirrored what was happening in daily life. Then,
I rarely caught the connection. A good example of this was my relationship to the
Forward Bend. This pose had always been an uncomfortable one, where
I strained to reach further, felt my breathing restricted, and experienced a sense
of limitation, being held back. I asked the question: "What is the hump, the obstacle,
that I have to get over in my life?" In my journal, I wrote: I feel this hump on my back,
like straining on a leash. I don't know what it is. I don't like this sense of holding.
During this period, my daily journal shows repeated reference to a sense of being stuck,
feeling constrained and restricted in my life,
and being frustrated at not knowing what to do to change this, not being able to see clearly.
It took some
time before I began to really connect with the information coming from my body,
and realize that it was informing me, it was communicating with me. I gradually comprehended
that my body held a wisdom, and that in working with the symbols of the asanas, so many of them closely
connected with the natural world, I was learning the language of my body.
